Now That I'm Older

You've probably heard this a time or two before.  But why the heck does Christmas have to begin in October?  It's actually a rhetorical question though as we all know the answer:

The Man wants your money.

I mean, I go to the store to get some candy corn for Halloween and they're already playing "Silent Night" on the loudspeakers and selling giant blow-up snow globes to put in your front yard.

They program you to feel that you must spend and spend.  They program your children to lust and want and beg.  And many adults never grow out of it.  They feel you owe them something.

Santa Claus is coming to town - to take your money.  Forget about the Free Masons controlling the world's economy - Madison Avenue is firmly in charge of your pocket book.

I suppose some people still enjoy the simple things about the Christmas tradition.  But from what I've seen, it's commercialized right down to the fake snow and plastic, luminescent  manger scenes. 

If the Grinch got his panties in a wad down in Whoville, he would've absolutely crapped his drawers over at the mall.
 

Forget about that peace, love, and joy nonsense. 
For aggresive, selfish, miserable humans - go Christmas shopping at the toy store on December 23rd.  And for what?  To make the little kids happy?  Try loving them instead and give them that worthless crap on their birthday.

Why are we obligated to come up with cash we don't have to spend on other people every year?  We didn't sign up for it but we sure get the memo straight from corporate every year.

Buy! Buy! Buy!  Spend! Spend! Spend!  And be sure to use the card that pays you back!

We've been programmed to think if we don't bestow a pile of presents on the family then we've failed in some way. 

And not only are we expected to bestow gifts upon people we rarely, if ever, see.  But we have to run the yule gauntlet through a sea of other clueless Christmas lemmings as well.

We must wait in traffic, endure the cold, fight the crowds, scavenge for the "perfect" gifts, wait in lines, and go into monstrous debt.  And for what?  A pile of paper and string on the floor?
It just doesn't make sense.

How about each person in each immediate family buy each other a gift card to the movies and we call it a day.  Or better yet, let's all give eack other a good back rub and then go out for pizza.  And let's do it on May 3rd when the weather is nice. 

It's not like Jesus was born on this day or anything.  I'm sure He'd be fine with May 3rd.  And if anyone asked Him, I bet He would suggest not doing it at all.  He might tell us to simply love one another or something of that non-materialistic nature.

I mean, give me a break.  We just had Thanksgiving last month and that was plenty. 
There's no need for all this commercialized, money-grubbing, orgy of insanity.

I feel like Charlton Heston in "The Planet of the Apes" when he's locked in the cage screaming, "It's a mad house! It's a mad house!"   No one ordained this "holiday" and we are obliged to no one to continue practicing it.  But the marketing Apes have their leash entrenched around the throats of our society.

Santa Claus is coming to town riding on an electric razor in a field of hot shaving goo. 
You want what Santa's got and if you don't then something's obviously wrong with you. 

Heck, I feel scared just typing this.

I wouldn't be surprised if ten ad executives in black Santa suits jumped out of a helicopter and beat the crap outta me.

Why?

Because I'm bucking the system, man.

Buck You, System.