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I'm in love with a lady named Linda,
She is my only girlfriend-uh.
We must be discreet,
for she loves my feet.
And I know it's not just pretend-uh.
(would you like me to rub your feet?)
She has a thing for my toenails.
And also for my cuticles.
When I'm not looking,
she finds my clippings,
and places them in her pigtails.
(This little piggie went wee wee wee,
all the way home!)
Oh Linda, Oh Linda,
When will your foot fetish end-uh?
I can offer more things,
than just toe trimmings,
But please,
don't let me offend-uh.
(I bought some new foot lotion!...)
(Would you like me to rub your feet?
Yes, again...)
(Here - put these fuzzy socks on.
Now take em off reeel sloow...)
(You have the prettiest feet in the whole
world!)
Linda came to my house trailer,
(Honey, where's the honey??)
with her electric toe-nailer.
I was in shock,
when she yanked off my sock,
and used it like an inhaler.
(Ooooh! Time to trim your toe hairs!)
I don't know much about females.
But I doubt they'd all love my toenails.
Yet I must admit,
after sniffing them a bit,
I too like the way that my feet smell.
(I bought you some sandals!)
Oh Linda, Oh Linda,
Bring your nostrils to me again-uh.
ah-hah!
I will stay neat,
but I won't wash my feet.
It is no longer on my agenda.
(wooo-hooo!)
and on that you can depend-uh...
The aroma is a nice blend-uh...
(This little piggie went to market!)
(This little piggie went wee wee wee,
all the way home!)
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