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Son, are you ready for beddie-bye?
Yeah Daddy.
Could you sing me a Christmas song?
You would like that, wouldn't you??
Uh-huh.
Have you ever heard the song about the
reindeer cow?
No, I never heard no song about no
reindeer cow song.
Well, lay your sweet head back on the
pillow Johnny, and I'll sing it for you.
Okay...
Ready?
Yeah.
Santa had a reindeer,
who thought it was a cow.
It wasn't good for nothing.
He loved it anyhow
It stood out in the pasture,
all covered in the snow.
Just chewing cud and mooing,
in twenty-one below
And then one boring Christmas Eve, while Santa was away,
his wife butchered up the reindeer cow, to feed to Santa Christmas Day.
Uh, Dad?
Yes, Son??
You said, you, you said she KILLED the reindeer
cow??!
That's right. She butchered it, just like the cows that go in your
hamburgers.
It's called "thinning the herd." It's actually good for them as it
eliminates disease and over-population. It's a long story, but you'll
just have to trust me on this one...
Okay...
And Santa Claus was puzzled,
when he got back home.
His reindeer cow was missing,
she'd skinned it to the bone.
She served it up for dinner,
with some Christmas rolls.
She didn't dare tell Santa,
what was in their bowls.
Because one boring Christmas Eve,
while Santa was not there.
His wife made a stew of the reindeer cow,
for Santa'd left her pantry
bare.
You mean there's dead
cows in my hamburgers??
That's right.
Now be quiet and enjoy this last verse.
Okay...
And now Santa has forgotten,
all about the reindeer cow.
But his wife is eyeing Rudolph,
for next years Christmas chow.
And the reindeer are all nervous,
when Santa is away.
Their children come up missing,
every Christmas Day.
Now Mrs Claus sits and picks her teeth, as Santa drinks a beer.
And there's not much to eat up in Christmas town,
except for Santa's tiny
reindeer.
(sad Johnny solo with chain saws)
But Dad!
Santa Claus NEEDS Rudolph.
He's the greatest reindeer of them ALL!
Not so much any more, Son.
Santa's had GPS on his sleigh for about twenty years now.
And to be honest, Rudolph is getting a little old and well, he's slowing
down the whole team.
And ya know, if it wasn't for that dumb song, Mrs. Claus would've had
him in the stew a long time ago.
And Santa's gonna eat him
next year???
Probably so.
Now, go to bed.
Ohhh-kay....
'Nite Daddy....
No, there's not much to eat up in Christmas town,
except for Santa's tiny
reindeer.
(moo.)
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