The Negative Thinker’s Alphabet of Gloom
 

A is the Average life I live.

B is the Berating my Boss doth give.

C represents my Cantankerous ways.

D is for all the boring Days.

E is the Elderly I might live to be.

F is my Funeral with certainty.

G is for Goals I will never keep.

H is Halitosis I make in my sleep.

I is the Incentive I seem to lack.

J is the Jugular my enemies attack.

K is the Kicking I get when I’m down.

L is the Lump my doctor just found.

M is for all the Money I owe.

N is the Nose I continually blow.

O reminds me I’m Overweight.

P represents my buffet Plate.

Q is the Qualities I do not possess.

R is the Rash I get when I’m stressed.

S is the Stress that causes a rash.

T is my turn to take out the Trash.

U is the Ugly reflection I see.

V is life’s lack of Variety.

W is Working with others in charge.

X without doubt means X-tra large.

Y is my Youth long since passed.

Z is Zucchini giving me gas.